Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Nothing to Fear but. . . .

As I sit here at work typing tedious medical reports, my mind tends to wander. I don't know why, but today it's been cataloguing things I'm afraid of. There's no rhyme or reason to it, that's just where I ended up.

So, after careful consideration, the top 3 things on my Fear List are:

1. Balloons.
2. Spiders.
3. Crowds.

I've been terrified of balloons as long as I can remember, and I have no explanation for it except that my mother is similarly terrified so maybe I absorbed that fear from observing her. Another thing to resent my mother for! I go ballistic when I'm in a room with balloons. I panic when I see kids with balloons, especially if I'm trapped and can't leave. It's a primal fear - fight or flight kinda thing. Of course my first instinct is just to run away!!! My poor kids suffer because they're never allowed to have balloons. They laugh at me because they don't understand. It's an odd fear, I'll admit, but it can't be helped.

Spiders are the most hideous creatures that ever lived on the planet. I know they're good for ecology, blah, blah, blah. Birds eat bugs, too, but they're not creepy and hairy and run fast and show up unexpectedly where you least expect them and then make you scream like a cheerleader in a horror flick about to be chopped to bits with a chainsaw. Spiders do. Unfortunately I hate killing them because they make a crunchy/squishy sound that makes me gag and shudder.

When we lived in Oregon we had spiders in our house that were so big that (including feet) they could straddle the top diameter of a pop can. No kidding. From August through about the beginning of November you could count on encountering at least one a day, but you never knew where you'd find them. You'd be going about your day unsuspecting when - SURPRISE - there's one of those nasty beasties and it makes your heart skip a beat because they're so freaking big they even scare the cats. I was so afraid of them that they'd often infiltrate my dreams and it's amazing what horrible things your unconscious mind can subject you to. More shuddering.

Crowds freak me out because I can't control them. Christmas shopping at a mall or WalMart is the worst. I can't stand to be in the same place with all those people at once. I run out of patience when I can't move or get around people, or just get out of the store and away. I guess it's a form of claustrophobia, or maybe I'm just not fond of people in general?! One or two, or small groups, or even a classroomful I can handle, but more than that and I'm ready to run.

Anyway, that's the summary of my top 3 fears. I've bared my soul (well, at least partially). Anyone else afraid of anything?

5 comments:

CDP said...

I'm not fond of spiders, but I'm not terrified of them...of course, here in Maryland, we just get the garden variety half-inch long wood spiders. If we had monsters like you described, it would be a very different matter. I like the new look!

Angie Ledbetter said...

So, I guess a big balloon with a plastic spider in it, handed to you in a crowd wouldn't be a nice gift? :) I hate snakes and heights.

Kathryn Magendie said...

I hate clowns - yup, I'm a clown hater. *shudder*

And crowds freak me out a bit, too.

We have nice spiders on the mountain -no, really - I named one Fred and he lived in my bathroom for a while and when he disappeared, I was kind of sad in a way....but I don't like big hairy spiders! eek!

Suldog said...

Well, I guess I should cancel the 20 deliverymen with those balloons full of spiders.

Beverly Hamilton Wenham said...

Ugrh! Spiders, I hate those guys! I'll never forget reading in my bathtub (as I often do) when one slid down it's web right between me and my book! Naked Screaming!!! That's how I know If I was chased around my house with a knife by a crazed killer no one would come save me. So sad. Balloons make me nervous because I know I will scream if they pop. I really hate them in the car if I'm driving.
The one thing I am really afraid of is flying. But I do it. The trip just better be worth it.