Saturday, June 5, 2010

Beach Scene Blogfest

We have Rachel to thank for the Beach Scene Blogfest. Go check out her site for links to the rest of the beach scenes.

Mine is pasted below. It is from my second novel-in-progress, which has yet to be edited in any way. The set up is this: Rand is the antagonist (a rogue fae-turned-human), Victor is his shaman/sorcerer. They are on the hunt for a special mermaid whom they have finally located on a tropical island.

What is it, Master?

Let’s get a lay of the land, locate the mermaid. The instant you see her bind her magic.

How are we going to keep her from bolting?

If you work quickly enough you can get her magic bound and then transport us before she can escape.

Yes, Master.

They explored the island, which was fairly small, sticking to the beaches near the water. The sand was a nearly blinding white in the bright sunlight. A little over halfway around the perimeter of the island they found Naida frolicking in the surf near the beach with a couple of dolphins and a half dozen other merpeople. She threw her head back, laughing as she played. Rand was pleased to see she was completely disregarding her own safety.

Let’s wait until she comes closer to shore.

Yes, Master.

They held back, staying over the shore, paralleling the group as it made its way toward a nearby lagoon. Rand’s luck held as they took a break from their abandon for a rest in the shallow water. Naida and a couple of the other merpeople drifted lazily along the surface, laughing the entire way, until they reached the secluded beach where they collapsed in a wanton heap, their tails still slapping in the surf. Naida continued to giggle, as she tried to catch her breath, her skin and hair glistening with salty sea water.

They were completely unaware as Rand and Victor approached them, they were so absorbed in their hedonistic pleasure. This was going to be much easier than Rand could have hoped. They drew nearly close enough to reach out and touch them.

Now, Victor.

Victor didn’t even answer, throwing first a disabling spell then a binding spell and before Rand could utter another word Victor had transported them back to his chamber. Slightly disoriented by the sudden change in scenery, Rand was nevertheless happy to see Naida flopping around on the floor appropriately like a fish out of water, rage glowing in her turquoise eyes.


Francine said...


It sets the scene nicely luring the reader onward!

Great stuff!


Charity Bradford said...

Yes, a very nice set up. Now I want to know why they want her and what happens next.

Dawn Embers said...

Interesting scene. Not often that one goes with the antagonist viewpoint instead of the protagonist. It happens sometimes, but not that often from the ones I've read. From what I can see here, you have some interesting characters and the story itself will be a good read. Well done.

sarahjayne smythe said...

Interesting set up that I'd like to see more of. Great entry for the blogfest.

L'Aussie said...

An intriguing story from a different POV. Naida's frolicking in the water was sweet...)

Amie McCracken said...

Intriguing. Are mermaids really wrathful creatures? She could have a heyday tearing those two apart.

Sangu said...

Very intriguing, it sucks you right in. Personally, I found the italics a little jarring, though I understand why they're there - might it work better if they were weaved into the text somehow?

Great entry!

Kathryn Magendie said...

I'm not sure what blogfest is, but I did enjoy the imagery in your writing! And I love when things are from the sea - sea creatures and mermaids - I should write about them, but do not...maybe I will one day!

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

hmmm... what happens if that binding spell doesn't hold? I don't think they want to find out. Loved the imagery of the rage glowing in her turquoise eyes.

nice :)

Hayley said...

Loved the set up, I really want to know what happens next. Thanks for sharing, it was great.